Resources
Dear Coach,....Sincerely, Every Parent. Lisa Bates (2006)
Dear Coach,
Here is my child, a player for your team. This is difficult for me because I am entrusting you with a child I love more than life itself. It seems silly that a volunteer with 8 games and 6 practices can shape my child’s life but it’s true. So coach, there are a few things I wanted you to know and that I hoped you would share with my child. Teach my child to win gracefully but more importantly teach my child to lose with even greater dignity. Know that my child takes what you say to heart so please choose your words carefully and tread lightly. School is hard for my child and life hasn’t been so easy lately. This sport is the one thing that makes my child smile. Sitting on the sidelines stinks, we both know this. I realize that my child is not your best player but please, coach, notice the effort. It’s possible that my child could surprise us all someday. My child can be a pest, sometimes whiny, sometimes out of control. You have my permission to teach my child the consequences of inappropriate actions. If my child gets hurt in the game, please look for me in the stands, I am the one whose heart has stopped beating. Please help me teach my child the kind of sportsmanship that will carry far beyond what happens on a playing field. As a parent, watching my child can be excruciating, I want to protect but as a spectator I’ve been rendered helpless. My child’s successes and failures are out there for everyone to see. Help me to keep my perspective. Most of all please teach my child that this is only a game, that there will be plenty more. Ask my child to work hard, to give their best effort and especially to have fun. Through your words and actions show my child what it means to “love the game”. Thank you coach, for all you do, your time, patience and influence… It will last a lifetime.
Sincerely,
Every Parent
Here is my child, a player for your team. This is difficult for me because I am entrusting you with a child I love more than life itself. It seems silly that a volunteer with 8 games and 6 practices can shape my child’s life but it’s true. So coach, there are a few things I wanted you to know and that I hoped you would share with my child. Teach my child to win gracefully but more importantly teach my child to lose with even greater dignity. Know that my child takes what you say to heart so please choose your words carefully and tread lightly. School is hard for my child and life hasn’t been so easy lately. This sport is the one thing that makes my child smile. Sitting on the sidelines stinks, we both know this. I realize that my child is not your best player but please, coach, notice the effort. It’s possible that my child could surprise us all someday. My child can be a pest, sometimes whiny, sometimes out of control. You have my permission to teach my child the consequences of inappropriate actions. If my child gets hurt in the game, please look for me in the stands, I am the one whose heart has stopped beating. Please help me teach my child the kind of sportsmanship that will carry far beyond what happens on a playing field. As a parent, watching my child can be excruciating, I want to protect but as a spectator I’ve been rendered helpless. My child’s successes and failures are out there for everyone to see. Help me to keep my perspective. Most of all please teach my child that this is only a game, that there will be plenty more. Ask my child to work hard, to give their best effort and especially to have fun. Through your words and actions show my child what it means to “love the game”. Thank you coach, for all you do, your time, patience and influence… It will last a lifetime.
Sincerely,
Every Parent
The Hypocrisy of Youth Sport. Dr. Richard Lutsberg and Charles Deitch (2004)
The Psychology of Sports
By Dr. Richard Lustberg and Charles Deitch
By Dr. Richard Lustberg and Charles Deitch
On The Couch: An Analysis of Current Topics and Issues in Sport
September 2, 2004 The Hypocrisy of Youth Sport There is a great deal of hypocrisy in this country, which, in most instances, is just fine. However, there are some settings, like youth sports, where it is totally out of line. We want our youth sport community to be fair, just, and equitable. We want all of our children to get equal playing time, and to get a chance to excel. We espouse that all are winners and that winning at an early age is not to be encouraged. The problem, however, is that psychologically, sociologically, and developmentally this is not what is really happening. We as adults live in a society where, at times, winning is the only thing that matters. We carry that philosophy – despite attempts at times to mask how we really feel -- from the boardroom to our family game rooms and most predominantly into every level of sports. No one remembers who finished second, nor does anyone really care. In fact, it doesn't take long to forget who our champions are. U.S. gymnast Paul Hamm turned us all into gymnastic fans, but he'll be forgotten in our psyches in a nano-second. The Florida Marlins, the reigning champions of baseball, are an asterisk, and unless you actually live in Tampa , you'd struggle to remember who won the Super Bowl two short years ago. We have become an un-reverent nation, who turns quickly away from our sports heroes of the past. Our adoration is reserved for the moment and is gone in less than a heartbeat, as we crave the next winner, to achieve the psychological high and vicariously identify with them. Our children are exposed to these attitudes every day in their homes by parents who spend their lives competing in sports and at work and rooting vehemently and violently for their favorite teams. Children receive a very strong message at a very early age. Win! Even when playing legendary childhood games such as Candy Land, the goal is to win. No child says I'll stop at the Molasses Swamp and wait for you to catch up. They want to get a double red and finish you off. Kids are competitive from a very early age, they have to be, or else they will not survive, or minimally thrive. Even in school, research shows that children in primary school can rank the class in terms of ability with startling accuracy. If it's happening in social studies class, you can believe it's happening on youth baseball diamonds and soccer fields. Just walk onto a T-ball field full of seven and eight year-olds and you'll see parents and coaches screaming for and at the kids to perform better. On the soccer field, these actions are directed at children as young as five. In football, the modern-day Roman Coliseum, the obsession begins as soon as a child can carry a Nerf ball. As a society we have "intramurals" and "travel teams." The former is supposed to be a place where the less gifted athlete has an opportunity to play. Yet experience and research show that's far from the truth. Even at the intramural level winning is stressed, favorites are denoted and a pecking order is established. How does this happen? Our society is built on competition. Our capitalist system is the purest form of competition in the world. We need to prepare our children for this world. We need to teach them to accept who and what they are. As it stands, we do not accept losing in any arena of life. If we do, we investigate why we lost and fix it, so next time we will win, or, metaphorically at least, die trying. It is necessary to teach children how to compete and to show them that winning is a true and valued goal in our society. While hypocrisy is embedded in our culture, we need to do everything we can to shed our hypocrisy when it comes to children and athletic competitions. We need to help them cope with losing when it happens instead of telling them how they failed. We must put them in sports venues where they can maximize their potentials and, hopefully, win. If given the proper reinforcement, this attitude will carry over from organized little league baseball to a simple game of hop-scotch in the driveway. Moreover, each parent needs to look at and understand their child because parents remain the greatest influence on their child's development in the early years, in all venues. There are some children who can be put in highly competitive situations, not perform well – either by not playing or making mistakes -- and be fine with it. However, there are other children who cannot thrive in these situations. They must be taught how to cope or find other arenas to compete in. And many parents don't want to accept it, but that arena might not be on an organized playing field. Ultimately, it's up to us as parents to decide what kind of youth sport experience our children will have. It can be one of fun and learning, or it can be a nightmare based on unreasonable expectations and unrealistic goals. Whether we know it or not, too often we chose the latter.
September 2, 2004 The Hypocrisy of Youth Sport There is a great deal of hypocrisy in this country, which, in most instances, is just fine. However, there are some settings, like youth sports, where it is totally out of line. We want our youth sport community to be fair, just, and equitable. We want all of our children to get equal playing time, and to get a chance to excel. We espouse that all are winners and that winning at an early age is not to be encouraged. The problem, however, is that psychologically, sociologically, and developmentally this is not what is really happening. We as adults live in a society where, at times, winning is the only thing that matters. We carry that philosophy – despite attempts at times to mask how we really feel -- from the boardroom to our family game rooms and most predominantly into every level of sports. No one remembers who finished second, nor does anyone really care. In fact, it doesn't take long to forget who our champions are. U.S. gymnast Paul Hamm turned us all into gymnastic fans, but he'll be forgotten in our psyches in a nano-second. The Florida Marlins, the reigning champions of baseball, are an asterisk, and unless you actually live in Tampa , you'd struggle to remember who won the Super Bowl two short years ago. We have become an un-reverent nation, who turns quickly away from our sports heroes of the past. Our adoration is reserved for the moment and is gone in less than a heartbeat, as we crave the next winner, to achieve the psychological high and vicariously identify with them. Our children are exposed to these attitudes every day in their homes by parents who spend their lives competing in sports and at work and rooting vehemently and violently for their favorite teams. Children receive a very strong message at a very early age. Win! Even when playing legendary childhood games such as Candy Land, the goal is to win. No child says I'll stop at the Molasses Swamp and wait for you to catch up. They want to get a double red and finish you off. Kids are competitive from a very early age, they have to be, or else they will not survive, or minimally thrive. Even in school, research shows that children in primary school can rank the class in terms of ability with startling accuracy. If it's happening in social studies class, you can believe it's happening on youth baseball diamonds and soccer fields. Just walk onto a T-ball field full of seven and eight year-olds and you'll see parents and coaches screaming for and at the kids to perform better. On the soccer field, these actions are directed at children as young as five. In football, the modern-day Roman Coliseum, the obsession begins as soon as a child can carry a Nerf ball. As a society we have "intramurals" and "travel teams." The former is supposed to be a place where the less gifted athlete has an opportunity to play. Yet experience and research show that's far from the truth. Even at the intramural level winning is stressed, favorites are denoted and a pecking order is established. How does this happen? Our society is built on competition. Our capitalist system is the purest form of competition in the world. We need to prepare our children for this world. We need to teach them to accept who and what they are. As it stands, we do not accept losing in any arena of life. If we do, we investigate why we lost and fix it, so next time we will win, or, metaphorically at least, die trying. It is necessary to teach children how to compete and to show them that winning is a true and valued goal in our society. While hypocrisy is embedded in our culture, we need to do everything we can to shed our hypocrisy when it comes to children and athletic competitions. We need to help them cope with losing when it happens instead of telling them how they failed. We must put them in sports venues where they can maximize their potentials and, hopefully, win. If given the proper reinforcement, this attitude will carry over from organized little league baseball to a simple game of hop-scotch in the driveway. Moreover, each parent needs to look at and understand their child because parents remain the greatest influence on their child's development in the early years, in all venues. There are some children who can be put in highly competitive situations, not perform well – either by not playing or making mistakes -- and be fine with it. However, there are other children who cannot thrive in these situations. They must be taught how to cope or find other arenas to compete in. And many parents don't want to accept it, but that arena might not be on an organized playing field. Ultimately, it's up to us as parents to decide what kind of youth sport experience our children will have. It can be one of fun and learning, or it can be a nightmare based on unreasonable expectations and unrealistic goals. Whether we know it or not, too often we chose the latter.
Stress in Youth Sports. Dr. Richard Stratton (2008)
In many circles, concern about stress placed on youth sport participants seems to be the most frequent topic of discussion when youth sports is mentioned. Is there stress in youth sports? Of course there is! Not only do the athletes experience stress, but so do the coaches, the parents, the officials, and the administrators.
What is stress? Stress is produced when someone feels that their physical and/or psychological well-being is threatened. They perceive that they may be harmed in some way.
Is stress negative? Not necessarily. Actually, there are two types of stress:
- Eustress, which is pleasant stress.
- Distress, which is potentially harmful stress.
Many of you may now be thinking, how can there be pleasant or pleasurable stress. Competitive sports activities are a source of both eustress and distress, as are any types of competitive activity. We might argue, for example, that the video game industry exists to provide a source of eustress! The enjoyment of competition is reported by young athletes as one of the top three reasons for which they participate in youth sports. Why, then, does there seem to be such a concern about stress in youth sports? One perception appears to be that youth sports are more distressful than other activities in which children participate. Fortunately, this is not the case. Simon and Martens, in a study reported in the 1979 issue of Journal of Sport Psychology, found that youth sports participation produced state anxiety levels in the same range as other typical competitive youth activities such as band and classroom tests. In fact, of the nineteen activities they examined, band solos produced the highest level of state anxiety. Within the various sport activities studied, individual sports produced the highest levels of state anxiety, followed by small group team sports (such as basketball), with the large group team sports resulting in the least state anxiety. This is actually a fairly logical finding. When an individual feels personal responsibility for the outcome, they are likely to experience greater stress than someone who is part of a group/team which shares the responsibility for the outcome of the activity. This is not to say that distress is not a problem in youth sports. Stress has the potential for making youth sport participation an unpleasant experience for the children, and for coaches and parents also. The more we understand about stress in youth sports, the less likely it is to result in significant problems.
Simon, J.A. & Martens, R.(1979) Children's anxiety in sport and nonsport evaluative activities. Journal of Sport Psychology, 1, 160-169
Parents and Coaches Can Save Good Sportsmanship from Extinction. Mickey Rathbun (1997)
Parents and Coaches can save good sportsmanship from extinction
When a superstar athlete misbehaves, his antics make headlines and TV news everywhere�including, most likely, in your house. Your child gets a lesson in sportsmanship, whether you like it or not. And it probably isn't the kind of lesson you like. Not surprisingly, as bad sportsmanship becomes more prevalent on the pro level, it seems to be more common on junior levels as well. "If the pros get away with trash talking and other bad behavior, who else do [kid athletes] have to emulate?" asks Linda Petlichkoff, a professor of sports psychology at Boise State University.
WINNING IS EVERYTHING
Why can't athletes behave? The prime obstacle, according to sports psychologists, is the win-at-all-cost attitude many parents and coaches�and our culture, in general�instill in kids. Even adults who try to teach kids that "It's how you play the game that matters" are hard-pressed to compete with advertisements that tell youngsters winning is everything. Take the sneaker advertisement that ran during the Atlanta Olympics: "You Don't Win Silver. You Lose Gold." Good sportsmanship�playing by the rules, respecting opponents and officials, and exalting hard work over outcome�is "one of the most important life lessons," says Judy Dixon, who teaches tennis at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and runs tennis camps for children. "Most of us go through life not being what society calls 'winners.' You need to teach kids that it's okay to lose. Everyone has a place where they excel, and it isn't necessarily sports ." What can parents and coaches do to instill notions of fair play and good sportsmanship in children? Plenty, say sports psychologists. Here's some advice from four experts to whom we spoke.
SOUL-SEARCHING
Parents should start with some "personal introspection," says Karen Partlow, national director of the American Sport Education Program, in Champaign, Illinois. "Ask yourself what you want your child to learn through playing sports . Do you want your child to be rich and famous or a good person?" Of course, those things aren't mutually exclusive. But if Mom is pushing Junior to win, win, win so that he can get a college scholarship or break into the pro ranks (both extremely unlikely), chances are that some fair-play precepts may get lost along the way. Partlow suggests parents embrace healthy and attainable goals for their children's participation in sports , such as developing new skills, learning to get along with others, and dealing with the emotions that come with winning and losing. Once you have determined your goals, help your children set attainable goals, such as learning a new play, giving their all in practice and games, and controlling their anger after bad calls or mistakes.
START YOUNG
Experts agree that kids should be taught good sportsmanship as soon as they begin playing in a sports program. This way, being a good sport becomes a natural part of their behavior. "Even when children are toddlers, you can begin to talk about consideration, respect, and fairness," says Dr. Michael Simon, a sports psychology consultant in New York City. "As your kids become older and more observant, ask them to give examples of behavior that reflect these concepts. If they can't, help them think of some." For instance, Simon adds, "when an opponent gets injured during a game, it's a sign of respect and consideration to clap for him when he gets up to leave the game."
BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL
Children model the behavior of adults they admire, and parents are generally No. 1 on that list. So make sure your own sportsmanship is impeccable. Don't just cheer for the home team. Show your appreciation when the opposing team makes a good play. After the game, whether your child's team has won or lost, congratulate the opposing team for playing well, and shake hands with the coach. If a call goes in favor of your child's team but you see the call was wrong, speak up. And never, ever say anything derogatory about a coach or player; kids learn to criticize from adults.
STANDARDS AND CONSEQUENCES
Set clear standards of behavior and enforce them with a system of consequences. "If your child misbehaves and the coach doesn't acknowledge his behavior, talk to the coach in private later," says Alan Goldberg, a sports psychologist in Amherst, Massachusetts. "Let the coach know that your child's behavior on the field is not acceptable." Regardless of what the coach does, you are ultimately responsible for teaching your child good sportsmanship. After the game, talk to your child about his behavior and, if appropriate, punish him. If your child is really misbehaving on the field, perhaps you should bench him for a future game. Dallas Cowboy star quarterback Troy Aikman was once given a not-so-private lecture by his mother after he yelled at his coach during a Little League game. Troy had objected to the coach putting in a player who Troy did not think was very good. "When I yelled at Troy, it definitely made an impression," recalls Charlyn Aikman. "I wanted him to consider the feelings of others. To this day, Troy respects other players, as long as they try their hardest." IT'S HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME Experts agree that parents , coaches, and kids should define success as trying your hardest, not by wins and losses. Indeed, "when a young athlete equates his self-worth with winning, it's a losing proposition," says Partlow. "A parent 's reaction to winning or losing is really key," says Dixon. "When your child comes home after a game, don't just ask, 'Did you win?' Instead, ask your child, 'Did you have fun? What did you learn? How did you play? How did the team play? What did you do well? What could you have done better?' "
TEACH YOUR CHILD TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY
When your child loses, don't blame the officiating, the weather, faulty equipment, teammates, or some other factor. Parents should help children "accurately assess their performance, to acknowledge and take responsibility for it," says Partlow. It's also important to acknowledge superior skill in other players. Of course, there will be times when referees and officials miss a call. Remind your child that the officials are doing the best they can and that missed calls are just part of the game�and of life.
DISCUSS WHAT YOU SEE
When watching sports events with your children, take advantage of the opportunities to discuss what you see. "Whether a player is arguing a bad call, kicking dirt, or simply cursing another player, the parent has a wonderful opportunity to talk about the situation, who is right and wrong, and how the problem could have been resolved without the negative type of behavior," says Simon. Likewise, there are a lot of good sports out there, so point out examples of good sportsmanship, such as the player who gives a helping hand to an opponent who has fallen down or a player cooling down a teammate who has lost his temper.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Above all, says Partlow, to build good sportsmanship " parents must demonstrate unconditional love for their children, and coaches must demonstrate unconditional respect for their athletes. They should say, 'Regardless of how you played tonight, that doesn't change how I feel about you as my son or daughter or my athlete.' " With proper nurturing by parents and coaches, good sportsmanship can be saved.
ACTIVE WATCHING
Use spectator sports to teach sportsmanship Whether you're watching a youth soccer game or viewing the world series on TV, you can use what you see to discuss appropriate behavior. Here are some ideas to get started:
A checklist for parents and kids:
When a superstar athlete misbehaves, his antics make headlines and TV news everywhere�including, most likely, in your house. Your child gets a lesson in sportsmanship, whether you like it or not. And it probably isn't the kind of lesson you like. Not surprisingly, as bad sportsmanship becomes more prevalent on the pro level, it seems to be more common on junior levels as well. "If the pros get away with trash talking and other bad behavior, who else do [kid athletes] have to emulate?" asks Linda Petlichkoff, a professor of sports psychology at Boise State University.
WINNING IS EVERYTHING
Why can't athletes behave? The prime obstacle, according to sports psychologists, is the win-at-all-cost attitude many parents and coaches�and our culture, in general�instill in kids. Even adults who try to teach kids that "It's how you play the game that matters" are hard-pressed to compete with advertisements that tell youngsters winning is everything. Take the sneaker advertisement that ran during the Atlanta Olympics: "You Don't Win Silver. You Lose Gold." Good sportsmanship�playing by the rules, respecting opponents and officials, and exalting hard work over outcome�is "one of the most important life lessons," says Judy Dixon, who teaches tennis at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and runs tennis camps for children. "Most of us go through life not being what society calls 'winners.' You need to teach kids that it's okay to lose. Everyone has a place where they excel, and it isn't necessarily sports ." What can parents and coaches do to instill notions of fair play and good sportsmanship in children? Plenty, say sports psychologists. Here's some advice from four experts to whom we spoke.
SOUL-SEARCHING
Parents should start with some "personal introspection," says Karen Partlow, national director of the American Sport Education Program, in Champaign, Illinois. "Ask yourself what you want your child to learn through playing sports . Do you want your child to be rich and famous or a good person?" Of course, those things aren't mutually exclusive. But if Mom is pushing Junior to win, win, win so that he can get a college scholarship or break into the pro ranks (both extremely unlikely), chances are that some fair-play precepts may get lost along the way. Partlow suggests parents embrace healthy and attainable goals for their children's participation in sports , such as developing new skills, learning to get along with others, and dealing with the emotions that come with winning and losing. Once you have determined your goals, help your children set attainable goals, such as learning a new play, giving their all in practice and games, and controlling their anger after bad calls or mistakes.
START YOUNG
Experts agree that kids should be taught good sportsmanship as soon as they begin playing in a sports program. This way, being a good sport becomes a natural part of their behavior. "Even when children are toddlers, you can begin to talk about consideration, respect, and fairness," says Dr. Michael Simon, a sports psychology consultant in New York City. "As your kids become older and more observant, ask them to give examples of behavior that reflect these concepts. If they can't, help them think of some." For instance, Simon adds, "when an opponent gets injured during a game, it's a sign of respect and consideration to clap for him when he gets up to leave the game."
BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL
Children model the behavior of adults they admire, and parents are generally No. 1 on that list. So make sure your own sportsmanship is impeccable. Don't just cheer for the home team. Show your appreciation when the opposing team makes a good play. After the game, whether your child's team has won or lost, congratulate the opposing team for playing well, and shake hands with the coach. If a call goes in favor of your child's team but you see the call was wrong, speak up. And never, ever say anything derogatory about a coach or player; kids learn to criticize from adults.
STANDARDS AND CONSEQUENCES
Set clear standards of behavior and enforce them with a system of consequences. "If your child misbehaves and the coach doesn't acknowledge his behavior, talk to the coach in private later," says Alan Goldberg, a sports psychologist in Amherst, Massachusetts. "Let the coach know that your child's behavior on the field is not acceptable." Regardless of what the coach does, you are ultimately responsible for teaching your child good sportsmanship. After the game, talk to your child about his behavior and, if appropriate, punish him. If your child is really misbehaving on the field, perhaps you should bench him for a future game. Dallas Cowboy star quarterback Troy Aikman was once given a not-so-private lecture by his mother after he yelled at his coach during a Little League game. Troy had objected to the coach putting in a player who Troy did not think was very good. "When I yelled at Troy, it definitely made an impression," recalls Charlyn Aikman. "I wanted him to consider the feelings of others. To this day, Troy respects other players, as long as they try their hardest." IT'S HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME Experts agree that parents , coaches, and kids should define success as trying your hardest, not by wins and losses. Indeed, "when a young athlete equates his self-worth with winning, it's a losing proposition," says Partlow. "A parent 's reaction to winning or losing is really key," says Dixon. "When your child comes home after a game, don't just ask, 'Did you win?' Instead, ask your child, 'Did you have fun? What did you learn? How did you play? How did the team play? What did you do well? What could you have done better?' "
TEACH YOUR CHILD TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY
When your child loses, don't blame the officiating, the weather, faulty equipment, teammates, or some other factor. Parents should help children "accurately assess their performance, to acknowledge and take responsibility for it," says Partlow. It's also important to acknowledge superior skill in other players. Of course, there will be times when referees and officials miss a call. Remind your child that the officials are doing the best they can and that missed calls are just part of the game�and of life.
DISCUSS WHAT YOU SEE
When watching sports events with your children, take advantage of the opportunities to discuss what you see. "Whether a player is arguing a bad call, kicking dirt, or simply cursing another player, the parent has a wonderful opportunity to talk about the situation, who is right and wrong, and how the problem could have been resolved without the negative type of behavior," says Simon. Likewise, there are a lot of good sports out there, so point out examples of good sportsmanship, such as the player who gives a helping hand to an opponent who has fallen down or a player cooling down a teammate who has lost his temper.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Above all, says Partlow, to build good sportsmanship " parents must demonstrate unconditional love for their children, and coaches must demonstrate unconditional respect for their athletes. They should say, 'Regardless of how you played tonight, that doesn't change how I feel about you as my son or daughter or my athlete.' " With proper nurturing by parents and coaches, good sportsmanship can be saved.
ACTIVE WATCHING
Use spectator sports to teach sportsmanship Whether you're watching a youth soccer game or viewing the world series on TV, you can use what you see to discuss appropriate behavior. Here are some ideas to get started:
- When a player loses his temper, ask your child how the player might have handled his anger differently.
- When a player misses an easy shot or loses a key point, discuss what she does to collect herself and get back into the game mentally.
- If an athlete disagrees with an official's call, see if he lets his anger and disappointment throw off his game. Point out the consequences of moping over a call.
- When a player showboats after scoring, ask your child how she thinks that makes the opponent feel.
- If a player or coach is penalized for arguing with an official or fighting, discuss how the penalty hurts the entire team.
- Note examples of opponents acknowledging one another's good plays.
- At the end of the game or match, watch to see whether the players shake hands and part amicably.
A checklist for parents and kids:
- Always play by the rules.
- Don't lose your temper.
- Cheer good plays made by either team.
- Don't talk trash or tease or goad opponents.
- Win or lose, be sure to shake hands with opponents and officials after a game.
- Don't yell at teammates for making a mistake. Never criticize teammates or coaches on the sideline.
- Admit your mistakes instead of making excuses or blaming others.
- Try your hardest on every play, even if your team is losing by a lot.
- Point out incorrect calls when they go in your favor.
- Don't argue with calls that go against you.
- Don't show off.
- Have fun!
